So I had a great Christmas with my family and friends… there is a ton of great news… still feeling lonely, because I’m still alone for the moment…. but I’m happy… and I have a plan… I think it’s a good plan…
I hope all of you were able to spend time with family, or at least loved ones… remember sometimes the families we make ourselves are the ones that make us our own…
Life hasn’t been so great lately. I am working a nice job that is taking a lot to get used to. Me and the girl split up. I have no money for Christmas presents. I am going to get a lot less family time than I would desire for this holiday season. Things just don’t seem to be going my way. I feel very confused with every aspect of my life especially who exactly I am and what exactly that means. But I suppose times of transition are always supposed to be like this. And that’s what this is a time of transition. I must stand my ground and look into the burning eyes of the dragon, because that’s all I can do.
I have to have hope.
I have to carry the love.
It’s the best I can do.
And I am doing my best.
Never give up!
I am with you in your struggles as you are with me in mine.
So I got into a relationship last night. I have a girlfriend! It’s been a long time since I have proclaimed that. There is still some things that I suppose will come forward in the future. My girl knows a bit about who I am, but not all. It’s a hard thing to disclose, I suppose. I am being honest with her, I am telling her my truths, but you don’t head into something telling everyone everything. I am feeling a lot more fluid these days. Sometimes, I am drawn to my masculine energy and sometimes I am drawn to the feminine aspect. I’m not sure how the clothes thing is going to play out, yet. All I know for sure is that in this moment, I am happy. I am really, really happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time! We’ll see… but that’s what’s been going on in my world…
Sorry for the bit of absence…
I have a bunch of new folks that have come and decided to listen to me ramble here.
Well, I love you all…
Things are rough for me right now, but I am strong in spirit.
I think it is really easy to forget yourself and get down about stuff, but there is a lot of love and light out there.
I hope your sky is bright and beautiful. I hope you are loved and happy.
My day isn’t so bad… I got a bright shiny new necklace!
Hey, a girl’s gotta accessorize right?
I love that there are so many people following my blog right now. I like to think that I have new people in my life listening to me and trying to understand me. I like to think that I have people rooting for me and commiserating with me. I like to think that I have people that are reading my words and liking what I have to say. I like to think that people are loving me through these words. Or at least I like to think that we are looking at them together and sharing them like a perfect blue sky on a nice summer day.
I like to think that, but I am also a paranoid sort. Sometimes I get scared that this is all a joke and that people are laughing at me. I get scared that everybody will go away. I don’t know if my experiences have just made me more timid or paranoid. I don’t know if I am just naturally neurotic.
But even if this is just a brief moment where you read my words and hear the whispers of my heart all I can offer you is my sincere gratitude. Thanks. This means a lot to me. It makes me feel hopeful and not so alone. It makes me feel appreciated, respected and wanted. It says to me that I don’t always have to hide away. That there are people out there that can accept me for what I am.
I hope that’s true.
Because I need that right now.
And you know what?
I hope you love Noely.
Because Noely love you!