Secret Fears…

So, because I have been laid off, my health insurance runs out  at the end of the month.  It’s been a long time since I haven’t had health insurance and that scares the hell out of me.  I wonder if I will become one of those Americans that slips through the cracks.  I wonder if I already had some disease boiling and toiling away inside of me that will need treatment to be abated.  What happens then?  I ponder the possibilities, but I have no answers.  The future has never seemed so uncertain and no mix of inspirational words or rah, rah, quotes can give me the certainty that I seek.  

I already have mental health issues that I was seeking treatment for.  I have another appointment coming up.  It is likely to be the last one.  Then what?  Back to suffering in silence I guess.  I paid so much money into my health insurance and then they take it all away.  I wish I would’ve known this would happen.  I would’ve saved that money.  That would be more practical than the grim meat-hook realities that await me in the dimness of an uncertain future.  

What happened to this country?  Why does it keep getting worse?  Why are the companies so bloodthirsty and ruthless that conquering huns invading the village?  

“Our energy would simply prevail.” HST

I kind of believe that.  This is not something that is unique to me.  It is happening to a lot of people.  I think something is about to happen.  It might take a while, but I think we are rallying our energy and that soon we will prevail.  It won’t be something inconsequential like Occupy, but it will be a true revolution where The People will actually get a chance to run things for a change.  Or at least we will earn the right to control our own destinies.  We can’t do much worse…

The right to be free and pursue happiness where we may… That’s the country I want to live in.  That’s the world I want to live in.  A world where everyone is free and safe.  A world where we are all free to share our experience and be secure in the safety of our bodies.  

I hope so…

Love Always

Noely  

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