….

Just watched something sad. 

There was this t.v. news article (?) about this trans-girl.  She knew she was a girl from a young age.  And before she started going through male puberty they put her on hormone blockers.  Prior to this she wanted to transition so badly that she almost cut off her penis, herself.  She got put on the blockers though so she would never go through male puberty.  Her mom said: “I don’t know if she would’ve survived male puberty.”  “Now she can be girl, instead of being a man in a dress.” 

That hurt like a physical blow. 

Is that what I am? 

Is that how I’m seen? 

Is that how I’m perceived?

Why can’t I be the one that I am inside?  

Why did I choose this?  

Why did I come here?  

What did I hope to learn?  

What did I hope to gain?  

Did I already mess this up?  

Why are there more questions than answers?  

Did I already mess this up?  

Should I have figured this out earlier?  

Could I have been real then?  

Am I not real now?  

Just go to sleep, it’s a bad dream….

Love Always

Noely

 

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