When I collapsed…

My cat just ran up and grabbed a cellophane wrapper from my desk and ran after it.  He like to chew on them.  I guess they feel good when he bites on them.  I always worry he’s going to choke to death on the stupid things.  And so I chase after him darting around trying to catch him.  And I can’t.  He darts under the bed behind boxes of comics and I can’t get to him.  But I move the boxes and dive under the bed anyway, but I can’t quite fit.  This stupid shirt is holding me back… FUCK!  Why does it have to be so hard?  I just finally collapsed.  And I felt like I wouldn’t get up.  I just kind of gave up.  It was just a moment, but I gave up in that moment.  And I just can’t win today.  But I need to stay awake, because tomorrow I go in late and this will be my bit to be myself.

I just… 

sometimes…

I don’t know…

Want an outlet where I don’t feel sad..

I like when it’s night time, because you can’t tell if the sky is sad anymore…

Kind of like when it rains…

and it’s okay to cry…

even all alone…

hopeless…

alone…

no one…

Love Always

Noely

 

 

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