Revelations

So a friend of mine told me the other day that I have been being really sensitive lately.  I understood it, I accepted it, but I wasn’t really able to explore it.  I was talking with another friend at work today and they pointed out the same thing.  So then I really thought about it and it made sense.  I have been really sensitive lately.  So it was really cool to acknowledge that.  Because then I could work through it.  I just started really having emotions that I felt were okay to share.  I didn’t allow myself to feel much since I was thirteen when I started hardcore repressing who I am.  So I never really learned emotions.  At first when I started having emotions they were very confusing to me, because they were so new, but now it seems like I have just been taking them for granted and letting them run wild.  This is not a good thing.  It is kind of like the exact opposite of not having any emotions at all.  So I need to work on that.  I need to take a deep breath when something bothers me and take the time to explore it before I actually voice my opinion on it.  Sometimes the things that upset me are probably little things to which I am over reacting too.  I realize now how exhausting that must be to deal with.  So I am really sorry about that!   But the good thing is that now I can focus on this and I can work to make it better.  Hopefully this will improve how I feel and also make it easier for other people to be around me.  I hope it does.  One of the great things and infuriating things of life is that it never stops.  The growing and learning and trying, I mean.  So I feel really happy right now.  This was a good realization.  I can do this!  I can make myself a better person.  I can control my emotions and not have to voice each one.  I will let the ones go that are little things that I overreact to, but vocalize the really important ones.  Because my feelings do matter, right?  I think so!  Wow.  This is like a whole new realization!  And it is something manageable that I can work on and get better at!  So yeah, I’m pretty stoked.  I think this weekend I will make a Noely vision board so I have something to look at that is a visualization of my different aspects and my goals.  I think this is a big step!  And it’s one that I’m not afraid to take! 

Love Always,

Noely

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