Names.

So Maryana Noel Reese is not the name that I was given when I was born.  It was a name that I had to discover on my own.  It really helped to find that name.  I love Noely.  I love being called Noely.  I really, really feel like Noely sometimes.  The name thing was really strange in a way that is hard for someone who hasn’t gone through it to understand.  The first two names?  No problem.  Easy as pie.  The nickname?  Simple.  Found it.  Saw it.  Loved it.  Completely identified with it from the start.  The last name.  That was the hard one.  Reese is not my families last name.  I decided not to use my family’s last name because well, that last name denotes history.  Their history.  My history?  Maybe.  I don’t know.  I am kind of waiting until I tell them about my second life and seeing how they feel about it before I put their last name with my others.  Maybe they won’t accept me.  Maybe they won’t want me to be their kid anymore.  I hope not, but it is possible.  So if that happens I will have my own name.  But that was a really hard thing to comes to terms with.  In my mind I see it as me asking permission to use that name.  In a way what I will be asking is: is it okay for this part of me to become part of your history?  That’s a strange bit that a lot of folks don’t have to think about. 

Well, I hope you are smiling out there, across the electric sky. 

Love always,

Noely

 

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